....

我很累。
对我现在的生活感到厌倦烦闷。
多么希望有人可以把我救出....

Heart broken...

You would feel hurt when you sincere yourself to others, and get returns with a bundle of accuses...

Feeling of sadness attacks my mind, and I could feel my heart is bleeding right now....

Tears are dropping from my eye, they all lost controlled.......... and only they knew how am i feel now...

Even worst, no one is willing to help me get out from here...

People will always be your side when happening, and leave you alone when you are down.

Same...

The story will never end...

This is so called reality...

Is it a mistake for my appears? 

Am i giving lots of trouble for everyone?

Depression is started freezing my passions towards life attitude. 

I miss my home. 

当客户生气，不愉快时， 他们可以拿我们来出气...
当工人不高兴时，可以给秀脸色给我们看....
那当我不开心时呢？我应该拿谁来出气呢？ 我应该向谁来发泄？

工作的压力，生活的紧逼，有谁能了解和谅解？
压抑的心情，承受的委屈，又有谁能体会和感受....

或许在大家的眼中，我不需要关怀，不需要爱的灌溉...你们都觉得我很坚强...
可是，我也是人，我也有感觉，我也会疲倦，我也会心疼的...

从小开始，我 就知道我不属于幸运的那一群...
没有好运， 没有侥幸...上天总不会白白的扶我一把...让我白吃免费的午餐...
我必须要付出， 必须要等加交易...才能得到我想要的...
从小到大都是这样.....一直都是...
我真的很羡慕别人...为什么总是那么的幸运，不费吹灰之力就可以一步登天.......
而我，一步一脚印...都留着泪水和汗水的痕迹......

我不在家里住，工作的原因，我和世界失去了联络...
有时我觉得自己很差劲，因为我总是觉得自己不够聪明...
妈妈不喜欢我失败, 我不能让她失望...从小到大都是这样
唯一能够做的就是，比别人更加勤劳的做事...这样，我才会有安全感...


每一次幸运抽奖，一定不会有我的份... 很搞笑对吧？
因为从以前到现在，幸运之神并没有站在我这一边...


我不怕吃苦，不怕流血...可是我害怕是非白眼, 别人的投诉，和对我的否定... 
坦诚自然难道不好吗？
我过度放松自己？ 没有防范，所以没有顾忌？
或许...是我不够好吧...

想找人诉苦，可是又不想给人添麻烦...
听我诉苦应该很闷吧...

伤心时， 找不到人可以借个肩膀让我痛苦一场，只能坐在电脑面前打字流泪...

心酸的感觉将我的心冷却了一大半...
虽如此，但日子也一样要过...

我一直都没放弃，我知道要成功就要付出代价...
我试过跌倒...真的很痛...感觉不好受...
所以我不能失败，不能犯错, 我要坚强下去...


或许以后，部落格会成为我最好的朋友吧....

心情日记

最近不是很开心.....
原以为他们回来后，我的心情会更加的好...
但....certain unexpected things happened in suddenly...and it's really confused me.
Is myself over sensitive and panic or....the problem is really existing?
hence should i take it seriously? why those problems always come to me???
Perhaps i'm still not careful enough, and over release myself at sometimes. I'm not alert enough.

I knw i shouldn't think too much, and just do my job well. Other things are not in my concern area. 
Yes, i should behave like this.
This is what i need to do now.

Sometimes is hard to maintain the relationship between people especially in office department.

Saturday

Today is Saturday.
Saturday, it's supposed to be a good day. But, i'm working on saturday as well...haha
I was having my lunch alone....the feeling was so strange.
But any way, i have to adapt it.

Had a great dinner session with my parents in last night.
They keep on asking me about my career, daily routine.
While i felt so surprised to my mum's replied...
"You are so different with previous, the way you talk and think are totally like an adult. My daughter, you are still young, don't give yourselves too much stress. You should enjoy your teenage life."
And this is the way i responded, " I'm not a little girl any more, I've been wasted so much time. And now i wanted to build up my career within these few years. This is what i want for, and not entertainment and branded life."

Yes, this is me. I have to be different with last time as I'm bearing a huge responsible and i can't disappoint people who look me up.
I have to be tough even sometimes I really feel like frustrate, have to refresh my self when I feel unbalance. The importance, i have to improve my patient and EQ.

Actually, i was thinking what is the point for us to blogging? show off? sharing?
Nope. For me, I used to release my feeling through blogging. And all these articles are my memories. It's a proof for my growths.

I'm snaking for writing blog during office hour. haha...
Feel better after typed out my feeling.

Come back to my work again.

What a working life

It's 8 o'clock evening, yet I'm still sitting on my office chair and facing my computer screen... 

While my hand never stop for typing the alphabets from keyboard since this morning....

Yes, i'm alone in the office....

The office is so silent, i could hear my breathe....

Yet, i'm enjoying this type of busy life.

My dearest colleagues and madam went to Australia....miss them so much. 

Especially my grandpa Hong Leong, even though sometimes i feel his voice is so annoying....yet how i wish i could hear his sound at this moment.

The days alone

My boss and colleagues are went to Australia for vacation, and i have to be alone in these 8 days. What a boring moment, i'm feel damn lonely especially when comes to the meal session. haiz....

In these few days, i'm trying to control my emotional. I tried to cool down myself when i get mad, tried to keep my emotional nicely, tried to cheer up myself when i feel stressful. This is what we called EQ. Yes, undenieable my EQ is not that high, and i always show my emotions through face expressions and languages.

I have to improve myself, have to be more patient, and adaptable.

But it's also has an exception in sometimes, really can't understand why those people are so irresponsible. How can they always broke their promise and so unprofessional. People should always meet their client's dateline no matter in what situation, unless you are lying on the hospital's bed. Or else you have no any excuse to delay your works without a good explanation. Is it so difficult for you to complete the work within a long period of timeline? I'm feel so embarrance for failure to meet client's timeline. Then? How about you? Perhaps you might have some personal issues to affect your working performance. Yet, is that my problem? You have to solve it by yourself right? and dont bring it to your work. I'm feel so disappointed to your performance even thought i'm not the person who paying you. speechless

Yes, this is me, straight forward and low of EQ. I would feel good after released all the unsatisfied through blogging. But, i knew i have to improve my weaknesses in order to achieve a higher level of management skill.

What i want to say? I'm looking for the long term plan.

It's my feeling

What i can say?
It's hurt when you face certain unexpected attacks...It's seems like your effort and ability
are doubt by other people.
Yet, i can do nothing to prevent all this issues.
Anyway, shut up is better than voice up.

It's hard to describe my feeling with few sentences and words.
What's the reason to make me feel unhappy now?
I have too high expectation towards myself and unfortunately I'm not worth for?
Perhaps you guys do have other reasons...and all these arrangements are just to stable my ability and maturity.
Hopefully this is the truth.

But, it's really hurt man!
Even the stupid joker's advantage is better than me? haha...what a funny joke...
Heart broken.

But ,do you think i will give up?
NO WAY!

Life Journey

最近在电台听到一句很值得思考的话...

人的一身就像一本书.....

普通人就会简简单单的略翻书本,而聪明的人会仔细和珍重的阅读...

因为他们知道人的一生就只能活一次...没有第二次...

那，你是哪一种人呢？